Psychotherapist Terri Cole: How the Fear of Conflict Is Destroying Your Relationships

Most of us were never taught how to handle conflict. We were taught to avoid it, suppress it, smile through it — or explode once we’ve had enough. And over time, that avoidance doesn’t just cost us peace. It chips away at our relationships, our health, and even our identity.

In this episode, we sit down with psychotherapist and bestselling author Terri Cole to explore why conflict feels so hard — and how to start handling it with more clarity, courage, and self-respect.

With over 500,000 followers and decades of experience working with clients across the spectrum — from CEOs to couples to everyday people — Terri shares a roadmap for navigating difficult conversations without betraying yourself in the process.

We talk about boundary ruptures, emotional codependency, unspoken expectations, and the quiet resentment that builds when we’re not clear. Whether you’re someone who avoids conflict or someone who leans in too hard, this conversation offers real tools for doing it differently.

Chapters:
0:00 - Intro
2:39 - Avoiding Conflict Is The Default 
10:06 - The Cult of Nice
13:31 - Emotional Warfare
19:52 - Social Learning Theory
29:30 - Female Friendships, Gossip & Conflict
39:59 - Pressure To Do Things You Don’t Want To
46:02 - Conflict in Romantic Relationships 
51:14 - The Workplace & Power Dynamics
1:00:50 - The Link Between Stress & Disease
1:11:07 - The Goal of Addressing Conflict
1:13:42 - Effective Communication 101
1:21:04 - Setting Boundaries in Dating
1:35:42 - Toxic Conversation Starters
1:42:46 - Rigid Boundaries
1:48:01 - What Life Looks Like After Addressing Conflict

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Terri Cole Links:
Boundary Bootcamp: https://www.terricole.com/boundarybootcamp/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/terricole/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-OC1zN27enpTA_eNWB7dKw

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