Episode 32: Harvard neuroscientist on loneliness, connection & friendship

Dr. Matthew Lieberman is a neuroscientist who originally trained (and taught) at Harvard. He is recognized as one of the foremost authorities in the world when it comes to social connection. He later went on to publish the bestselling book Social, which revealed that our need to connect with other people is more fundamental than even shelter or food.

 

Currently, Lieberman runs a lab at UCLA that tackles the loneliness epidemic by running experiments that aim to turn acquaintances into friendships. 

 

The importance of this episode cannot be understated, as it’s estimated that at least 50% of the population experiences loneliness and many people don’t feel they have even one other person they can confide in. It’s been famously documented that the negative effects from loneliness are like smoking 15 cigarettes a day. 

 

So in this episode, we explore the cause of the loneliness epidemic and what we can do about it. We explore some of the fascinating discoveries in the fields of neuroscience and social psychology, and the practical outcomes for what they mean for your social life. But most of all, we get to the root of how we can develop rich and meaningful friendships.

 

Chapters:
0:00 - Intro
1:20 - Loneliness is worse than smoking?
7:28 - Introverts vs. extroverts
14:01 - Do men need to talk about feelings?
21:04 - The importance of attachment in connection
28:12 - Science has revealed THIS about the brain?
42:23 - Humans value complements over money?
47:50 - How has the modern world affected connection?
54:22 - The three buckets of friendships
59:37 - Humans weren’t meant to have endless choices
1:03:02 - Getting “in-sync” with another person
1:13:13 - What activities promote connection with others?
1:19:14 - The problem of differing belief systems
1:26:56 - Why do two humans see the same thing differently?
1:36:15 - What’s the maximum amount of connections we can have?
1:38:41 - How to develop new connections & friends
1:43:17 - Handling rejection
1:46:02 - Helping & connecting with others gives us meaning

 

Follow Matthew on social:
Twitter / X: https://x.com/social_brains
Buy Social: https://shorturl.at/C01A5

 

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