Episode 12: Famous divorce lawyer James Sexton on love, sex & marriage

James Sexton is one of the most prominent and famous divorce lawyers in the world. Over the last year, he has been featured on nearly every top podcast on the internet, including the Lex Fridman Podcast, Soft White Underbelly, the Modern Wisdom Podcast, the Matt Walsh Show and The Diary of a CEO Podcast.

Many of the episodes went viral. James has been featured on CNN, ABC and CBS, in the New York Times, and had a regular segment on Steve Harvey’s Talk Show in 2018 talking about marriage. In 2019, he authored the bestselling “How to Stay in Love”. 

You might think that “relationship expert” and “divorce lawyer” are polar opposites, but they are not. James has unprecedented access to his clients, and in many cases, even more access than a therapist, due to the legal ramifications.

He has watched relationships demise and he has gotten to hear the full story, from the promising and happy beginnings, to the ugly and bitter ends. The amount of interest in what James has to say is evidence that people are desperately searching for answers when it comes to healthy relationships.

In this conversation, we discuss timeless truths around marriage, sex, love, divorce and conflict. 

Chapters:
0:00 - 1:13 - Intro
1:13 - 2:22 - Months in the making
2:22 - 4:23 - A divorce lawyer who is a ROMANTIC?!
4:23 - 9:58 - Marriage Story, Adam Driver & Scarlett Johansson
9:58 - 13:05 - The stigma of being a divorce lawyer
13:05 - 18:17 - James’s rise to fame
18:17 - 21:18 - Working on thousands of cases
21:18 - 28:55 - How divorce lawyers became marriage experts
28:55 - 34:27 - How marriage is inevitable
34:27 - 37:14 - 90% of people will be married by age 50?!
37:14 - 43:36 - How we put impossible expectations on marriage
43:36 - 49:13 - 2nd & 3rd marriage have HIGHER divorce rates?!
49:13 - 55:52 - What leads to divorce?
55:52 - 58:39 - How we take marriage for granted
58:39 - 59:54 - James’s credibility on this subject
59:54 - 1:03:14 - What problem is a marriage a solution for?
1:03:14 - 1:07:34 - Not setting expectations with your spouse
1:07:34 - 1:10:10 - Does suffering & hardship influence divorce?
1:10:10 - 1:15:04 - We need to commit to radical honesty
1:15:04 - 1:18:16 - The death spiral of a relationship
1:18:16 - 1:22:35 - Fix your marriage with the “Love Dare” for 30 days
1:22:35 - 1:26:38 - How not having sex destroys marriages
1:26:38 - 1:32:35 - What’s the purpose of marriage?
1:32:35 - 1:45:59 - Marriage & attachment theory
1:45:59 - 1:55:23 - The spiritual aspect of marriage
1:55:23 - 2:01:37 - We need to set a higher standard for marriage
2:01:37 - 2:05:35 - James clears up controversy around comment
2:05:35 - 2:08:08 - Dealing withe aftermath of divorce
2:08:08 - 2:11:03 - Divorced people are NOT damaged goods
2:11:03 - 2:15:26 - Co-parenting with your ex-spouse
2:15:26 - 2:21:19 - Letting go when the other person wants a divorce
2:21:19 - 2:22:12 - Closing comments & reminders

More from James:
Book: "How To Stay In Love" : https://shorturl.at/4R2q0
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nycdivorcelawyer

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